Experiments in Love – Listening from the Heart

by Micah Mortali

Some people listen; others wait to speak.  We tend to think good listeners are born that way. But conscious listening, the willingness to listen fully with an open heart, can be a learned practice. To start, it helps to notice how you respond to conversations, which tends to be in one of three ways:

Subjectively: “Oh, the same thing happened to me!” (I’m more interested in myself.)

Objectively: “That’s nice. (I’m listening but not too deeply.)

Intuitively:” I hear you. What else do you want to say about that?” The intuitive listener notices body language and tone of voice and responds accordingly. This is often easier said than done, particularly when faced with charged conversations.

Try practicing the following, especially when it’s difficult.  Allow the other person to speak without interruption.  Notice if you’re formulating a response while listening rather than just being present.  Resist the urge to offer advice unless asked.  Experiment with mirroring, or reflecting back what you heard. (“What I’m hearing is ….. Did I get that?”) Mirroring build trust by showing the speaker that you are listening.  It also gives you, the listener, insight into your ability to hold space. These techniques may feel forced at first, but conscious listening is a practice. As with any new skill, it gets easier.  It can become an habitual way of responding.

Micah Mortali teaches yoga programmes at Kripalu and lives in the Bershires with his wife and children.

By Larissa Hall Carlson

We suffer from stress when our bodies are no longer in rhythm with a consistent life style. With that in mind, how can we create consistency in our daily lives? Try these simple suggestions drawn from the wisdom of Ayurvedic, a life science that emphasizes the importance of daily routine in creating ongoing health.

Get into harmony with the rhythm of Nature: 

• Go to bed at around 10:00 –11:00pm regularly
• Wake up around sunrise

Prepare for restful sleep:

• Have your last meal or snack at least two hours before bedtime
• Turn off the computer and TV at least one hour before bedtime.
• Wash and massage tired feet.
• Spend a few minutes stretching
• Take a few deep breaths.

Rehydrate with luke warm or hot water. (Most of us are dehydrated, which can lead to frustration and agitation):

• Begin each day with a big mug of hot water. Add lemon, if preferred.
• Avoid excessively cold or iced drinks, which are more difficult to digest.
• Avoid drinking large amounts of liquids with or around meals.
• For ease, carry around a reusable water bottle and enjoy at least six cups of water a day. (if you drink caffeine, you’ll need an additional cup of water for each caffeinated beverage you consume.)

When we create consistency, the body and mind know what to expect, and stress will decrease naturally.

Larissa Hall Carlson Kripalu Yoga Teacher, Ayurvedic Lifestyle Consultant and Ayurvedic Yoga Specialist.

Creating Breathing Room

Let’s face it, life is a busy place.  How can we find the time to slow down and catch our breath?  What helps me is “breathing room”.  A time or place that I set aside to reconnect with myself.  It is not so much about finding an external location but about permission to create a space to go with it – it is the internal room we make inside our hearts.

To begin, ask yourself what would feel really good.  What makes you feel lighter and inspired?  You may want to hold an object of emotional value or wear mala beads.  Whatever feels right to you.  Breathing room can be a ritual; a cup of green tea with a piece of dark chocolate.  The same everyday or different each time.

Think about timing.  When do I most need to breathe, for me, its after cooking dinner, the 15 mins when everything is simmering and there is nothing left to do.  I practice deep breathing, so I can really enjoy our family time afterwards, having taken a moment for myself.

Turn off anything that brings you back into the “doing” world, such as phones, and computers.  Find a comfortable place where you can be present with yourself for a time and enjoy.  Whether its yogic breathing, chanting mantras, praying, or speaking gratitude this is important time for your body, mind, spirit, and soul.

Just five to ten minutes per day can go a long way.  I invite you to create some more breathing room in your life and see what happens.